Another deal goes BUST!

Apparently God does not want us to own a house! We have had two different deals on different house not work out in the past several months. On both places I was excited and talked about the house telling everyone all about it what it had this and that...well this time on this third house I kept my mouth shut! I talked to noone about any details of the house where its at or nothing. I just talked to God about it everyday several times a day! Well tonite we have ran out of options on this one as well! Unless we can come up with 5,000 dollars to close on we are out again. We dont have 1,000 right not let alone 5. And I for one dont know anyone that does have it! I cant stop crying! I just feel so depressed, frustrated and feel like a failure! Why cant we get this to work, dont we deserve to live in a house of our own!? A place to do with what we want and have plenty of room for the boys to run. Well, for whatever reason, its not in Gods plans. Am I really that bad that I cant even be blessed with a home!? I am just going to end this right here because I just cant seem to find words to really express how I am feeling and I cant even seem to find strength in God right now and that worries me!